


In Which Rose & The Doctor Talk About Shagging (Without Actually Talking About Shagging)

by justbygrace



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Canon verse, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-02 23:15:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2829551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justbygrace/pseuds/justbygrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story from a prompt.<br/>So, this is basically crack as you can probably tell from the title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Rose & The Doctor Talk About Shagging (Without Actually Talking About Shagging)

"Jack told me you have an intergalactic porn stash," Rose remarks casually over tea and toast one day causing the Time Lord to nearly spew his tea all over the breakfast table. 

He blinks at her a few times, discreetly whipping out his sonic to scan her "just in case," while he considers how best to reply. His processing skills are nearly four times the speed of a humans (eight if it's a good day), but this particular human has a knack for throwing him questions that knock him off his game. 

"Does he want a go at them then?" he asks once he regains his equilibrium, slightly disappointed when his comment merely causes a delicate snort from his companion.

"Probably, I'm more curious for myself," she begins and he swallows his bite of toast whole. After a lengthy pause, she goes on, "I'm looking for a Christmas present for Mickey."

"You provide your boyfriend porn?" This conversation is so far outside of the norm that he can't help playing along, if only to see where it ends up. 

"Not my boyfriend," she corrects casually as if she is reminding him he got her favorite fruit wrong instead of changing everything. "And I do sometimes, yeah. Keeps my boyfriend up to date on how to please a woman and the latest techniques."

He will forever be glad he has since stopped drinking his tea because his mouth falls open and it takes him longer than he'd like to remember how to close it. Rose chews her toast meditatively while she waits. 

"Any particulars?" he says in a tone that could be construed as a squeak if Time Lords squeak (which they do not). "For the porn? For Rickey, I mean?" Insulting the boy helps him find his footing and he relaxes as if the tips of his ears aren't bright red.

"Nah," she replies easily, surveying the toast before choosing another slice and slathering it generously with butter and jam. "Mickey's pretty much good with any kinks, save some hardcore bondage or BDSM. Not his style," she pauses, staring into space for a moment before sighing deeply. "Shame."

This time it is several minutes before he is able to speak and every single minute is spent valiantly not picturing Rose dressed in leather bent over a bench and instead willing down an erection he hasn't sported since, well this morning when Rose padded into the kitchen with messy hair and no bra and yesterday when Rose wore that little spotted number and, anyway, really not helping the whole erection situation.

"So, Rickey the Idiot wants a porn recommendation. I could probably help him out there," he admits, trying to keep his voice as casual as hers. "I've got a lot of kinky ones so you may need to help me go through them. Wouldn't want to scar the boy."

She nods again, face neutral as she absorbs his words. "After breakfast then?"

"Yes," he agrees, picking up his own slice of toast and crunching into it loudly.

There is silence in the room for several long minutes and then a thought occurs to him and he narrows his eyes at his companion.

"Jack set you up to this?"

"Yep," she says expansively. "That okay?"

"Did you mean it?" 

"Which part? Helping you sort through your porn collection or enjoying it?" She regards him curiously.

"The part where Mickey isn't your boyfriend," he tells her, keeping his eyes firmly locked on hers.

"Oh that," she waves one hand dismissively. "That's been over for ages, I thought you knew. Jack said that was the part you'd get hung up on. I thought it was the kink."

"So porn collection after breakfast?" he confirms, just to be certain where they stand.

She nods, pushing back her plate, and dusting off her hands. "This is one adventure I'm really looking forward to."

He pushes back his own chair and reaches out a hand for hers. "Me too, Rose Tyler."

And they run.


End file.
